March notes to self

Like Post-Its, so I don't forget

Dear Joy Risers,

I’m writing this to share my March Notes to Self with you from my new writing office in my first home as a homeowner, which over the last few weeks I’ve been bewilderingly, joyously nesting in. It’s a time in my life that I’ve been excited to write to you about - a coming-full-circle, watershed experience that I’ve been eager to make sense of through words. But I hadn’t intended to share it yet. I was waiting until I was settled in, and had the space and capacity to reflect on what it’s meant to me - how it’s felt to be a working writer, able to buy my first home in the place where I grew up, where I’ve dreamed of living since I was a teenager.

But as I write this, we are bracing for Tropical Cyclone Alfred to hit the southeast Queensland coast (and Northern NSW) where we are currently in its direct path. It is a first-in-my-lifetime weather event - there hasn’t been a cyclone here in my hometown of the Gold Coast on Bundjalung Country in my 44 years of living memory. With full acknowledgement and awareness of the many privileges I have in my life, the last few days of absorbing and processing weather warnings and advice that is gravely serious, and actioning recommended preparations for a Category 2 cyclone has been, in my experience, to-the-bone-frightening. Observing how my mind is working as it processes this direct threat to our widespread community and my first own home of only a handful of weeks, and the experience of waiting for a monster we know is coming, feels like I am meeting a strange and unknown version of myself.

So, while we have power in our house, I am here, doing what I know to do when there’s very little left that I can do: turning to writing. To siphoning my heart into words to share with you in this space that I am moved-to-tears-grateful to have - this growing, powerhouse community of us beautiful lion hearts, Paddington Bears, misfits, weirdos and wonders. Thank you for being here. If you are reading this and are also affected by the approaching cyclone, I hope you are as prepared as possible, are in a safe place and are able to remain so.

Typing out these notes to self at my desk today

As with my January and February Notes to Self, my hope in sharing these points that I jot down at the beginning of each month is they might offer a spark of resonance. Take any that do and of course leave any that don’t.

March notes to self:

1. There is so little outside of yourself that you can actively, directly control - remember, remember, remember: focus on the next best thing that you can control and affect through your choices and actions.

2. Choose and act on the greatest good that you can.

3. The value and power of connecting with others is never going to be a lesson that you learn and are done with - connection with community is powerful especially when you feel powerless.

4. Stay as open-hearted as you can in duress as you are in joy.

5. Rest. When there’s nothing else that can be done, when your heart is pounding, when your head and body are aching: rest.

6. Noticing and revelling in beauty still happens, even in the most absurd, terrifying moments. They are gingerbread crumbs for later.

7. When something feels like it’s changing you, let yourself be changed. Let new ground break in yourself. Stay curious.

8. Life is your art. All of it. All of it.

9. I have nothing to say is one of the most boring lies on loop tape that your inner critic has to play. Melt it down until it’s molten - transformed - and pour it, golden, onto your page. Into words. Of every burning question, longing, moment, grief, and joy.

10. Like love and fear, creation and destruction are inseparable teachers.

Thanks as ever for reading.

Wherever you are when you read this, whatever you’re facing this March, may we all be safe.

With a light left on,