(#10) Before I Begin Part 3: Belonging

You - I - we belong here, no matter what Imposter Syndrome has to say. So let's fucking dance.

Hello dear readers,

Welcome to the third and final essay in my This Writer’s Life three-part series, Before I Begin. Where I’m sharing how I prep for a big creativity project - in my case, writing a new novel this year.

(Catch up on Part One: Nerves, Anxiety, or Excitement here and Part Two: Rituals here.)

This essay, Part Three, explores BELONGING as a cultivated response to Imposter Syndrome.

I hope that if and when you are approaching a new creative project, or are in the middle of making something, or are hurtling towards the completion of your creation, this essay series can accompany your imagination like a friend bringing you some of what you need… to stir and replenish the ideas simmering / boiling in your creative heart.

There is so much constantly asking for our attention - thanks for sharing your time with my words.

An unexpected truth that writing this essay has revealed this morning: this is not what I’d planned to write to you. When I got the idea last October/November for this essay, I felt very clear and sure then of what it would be - the final instalment of my Before I Begin series, sharing the many ways that Imposter Syndrome has shown up in my writing life and filled me with the dreadful fear that anything I’d written, achieved, or created wasn’t safe to own, or claim for joy. A fear so potent and powerful that it historically felt, to me, often impossible to counterbalance.

I also felt certain this essay would be me writing about how I was feeling like an imposter now as I start writing the first draft of my third novel. I was sure that I would be sharing with you how vividly I was feeling these feelings and how I might be managing them, to stop the feeling of not belonging to my ideas from devouring my heart and words.

That’s what I thought this essay would be. Right up until I came to my desk this week to start writing this for you.